Little break

Since I'm so close to finishing my first draft I've decided to take a teeny tiny break from blogging.  I hope to be back by the beginning of March. 

If my time away is as productive as I think it will be then my return post will hopefully be to announce the completion of my first draft. 

Happy writing and blogging, oh and Valentine's Day too!

50,000!

It happened!  Finally!  Yesterday I cracked the 50,000 word count on my WIP.  It's been a long time coming (almost 5 months) and I'm so glad I'm finally there.  I also plotted out the last part of the book and I (think I) only have five chapters left to write before I'm done with the first draft.

Alright, my little online celebration is done and that's actually all I have time for today.  Let me know what you're celebrating this week!

This Girl!

I watched Angie Ziederman's audition on American Idol during the past week and couldn't help but relate it to writing (shocker I know.)   First watch the audition, the whole thing.  Then come back and we'll chat.

Can you spot her huge mistake?  Her first query song was a mess.  Definitely rejection material and definitely not the way to get out of the slushpile to Hollywood. Then with her second song it turned out she could actually write sing quite well.  She got lucky because for some unfathomable reason Jennifer Lopez saw something in the hot mess that was her first song.  We as writers probably won't be quite so lucky.  That's why we have to put our absolute best out there with every query, every pitch, every conference because chances are none of us will have Jennifer Lopez tagging along with us begging the other agents to give us another chance (and if you do why are you bothering with queries, just have her publish it for you).

A Quick and Likely Discombobulated Post

Here in the Paxton household my children are on their seventh (not exaggerating, seventh!) cold since Halloween.  My little man spent almost all night last night awake and alternately crying and coughing.  Thankfully, little blond person is old enough to take OTC medication so she slept like a lamb.  I, however, did not and now I'm exhausted and not sure the connections between my brain and the parts of my body that actually do things are functioning properly, so please excuse me if I ramble.

I just wanted to do a quick announcement.  The folks over at Throwing Up Words are having a contest called Project Writeway (with a title like that I bet you can't guess what reality TV show it's spoofing). I would have put up a link for you guys to enter were you so inclined, but I only found out about it just in time to squeak in under the deadline.  Anywho, it looks like it's going to be a fun little contest and since the outcome is 50% judges and 50% popular vote I thought I'd tell you all to get on over there, read the entries and pick your top six favorites.  Voting opens up tomorrow and continues through Friday.

Hope you all had a great weekend! 

Spring cleaning (on the blog)

Well, that blogcation was a bit longer than expected. This weekend I cleaned up a little around here. I added blogs I've recently started following to my sidebar.  I deleted some blogs that haven't been updated in over a year. However, I spent most of my time going through the blogs I link to on my sidebar and moving those who've been published in the past year from the 'aspiring authors' category to the 'author' category.  I went from having five or so blogs under the 'author' heading to over twenty.  There were also a few who signed with agents and I'm sure they'll be making the move from 'aspiring' to 'author'very soon as well.  It was amazing and inspiring to see how many of my blogger friends have made such huge progress in their writing journey over the past twelve months.

As I went through all the blogs I follow, I saw a lot of other happy news besides agent signings or publication deals.  It was great to read all of that as well.  I also came across quite a few blogs that have gone dark. Some gave reasons for ending their blogs.  Some just stopped posting.  Some gave up on their dream.  It was these that stayed with me.  I just kept thinking about them, so much that I actually got depressed.  I think I understand why they did.  Heaven knows I've been close to taking the same step myself especially over the last couple months. It was tough for me to see people who actually did.  I hope that at some point down the road, they'll rediscover their dream and decide this time to really go for it.  And I hope when I feel like giving up, remembering them will give me the oomph to keep going.

How about you guys?  What are your tricks to keep pushing through when it all seems hopeless?

Gratitude, an epiphany and a publishing opportunity

First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my last post.  Your comments were helpful and encouraging and just what I needed.  Thank you so much.  I took a week off and while I'm still having a rough time getting momentum on my WIP I think I figured out why.  If it hadn't been for your comments I wouldn't have given myself a break and perhaps wouldn't have figured out the reason for my funk.

So here's my epiphany.  All the work I've been doing on my WIP has somewhere inside made me feel like I'd given up on SEEDS.  And somewhere inside I wasn't prepared to do that.  I still believe in SEEDS.  I still think it's a good well-written story that deserves to be published.  I've got to somehow strike a balance where I put time into finding a home for SEEDS while still doing work on my WIP.  That's going to be tough.  Finding time to blog and work on the WIP while taking care of two young kiddos with all that entails is tough enough.  I'm not sure where I'm going to find the extra minutes and hours it takes to ferret out possible agents/publishing options for SEEDS, but it seems I'm going to have to try unless I want my writing to be on permanent hiatus (shudder).

On a semi-related note Dragon Moon Press is open for submissions for the month of December.  They are only looking for novel length (85,000 to 110,000 words) fantasy, but if you have a manuscript that fits those specifications this is a great opportunity.  Their submission guidelines are very specific, so if you're interested go here and read them carefully before submitting.  It was this tidbit of news and my subsequent submission of SEEDS that led to my little epiphany about the reasons for my funk.  I hope you find it similarly helpful in your pursuit of your writing dreams.  Good luck!

In a funk.

Do you ever find yourself going through your daily routine and thinking 'what's the point of this again?'  Yeah.  Today is one of those days for me. But I haven't been questioning everything today, just those things that relate to my writing life.

I logged on to blogger at few times today to do a post and that's the question that kept running through my mind.  Don't get me wrong.  I've met some great people and made some good friends through my blog and I love it for that reason, but I started my blog because of my writing.  And as I said, I've really been questioning the reason I'm putting all the time and effort I do into my writing.  That encompasses the blog as well.

I don't know, I guess it's just one of those days when I'm doubting my ability to get published, heck, even my ability to write anything worth giving to my critique group.  I'm sure it will pass, but for today I'm in a funk and I think instead of working on my WIP tonight I'm going to take a long hot bath and get a good night's sleep.  Hopefully that will be all I need to recharge.

How about you guys?  Anything you've found particularly helpful in banishing self doubt or getting out of a funk?  I'd love any suggestions.

Deleted!

No, I'm not talking about my WIP.  But I am talking about all the videos from my children's lives over the past five months, which is actually more tragic than had it been my WIP.   I'm still not entirely sure how it came about that I completely erased (as in not even Geek Squad could find them) those five months worth of videos.  Actually, I deleted the last three years but thankfully I had all but the past five months backed up.  But they are gone.  And it makes me tear up a bit every time I think about it.

That's my excuse for my late post.  I was scrambling frantically all day to find a way to restore those files and have only just in the last few minutes admitted defeat.  So here I am to blog and apparently to mourn some more.

On the writing front I'm approaching 25,000 words on my WIP and am reasonably satisfied with what I'm turning out.  I know it needs A LOT of work but the skeleton is there and what is revising for if not to put the muscles and flesh on the bones? 

And now the children are sleeping all snug in their beds and I'm off to add some more words to my WIP.  I hope you've all had better days than I did today and if I may offer some advice BACK UP YOUR FILES!  That is all.  Goodnight.

Writing during a rough week

In the past week both of my kids got their second cold of the cold and flu season and it's a doozy.  Despite humidifiers, baby rub, homeopathic cold remedies and everything else we could think of they've hacked their way through every night, waking up multiple times, sometimes coughing until everything in their little tummies come up.  I took them to the doctor and he said it was nothing that could be helped by antibiotics.  They're miserable.  I'm miserable.

On top of that I got my wisdom teeth removed on Thursday and started hacking and sneezing myself on Friday.  Then my poor husband got his dose of the crud on Friday.  It hasn't been a great week.  But here's the funny thing I've written more in the past week than I've managed to put down on paper in a long time.  I'm not sure how it happened.  I know I had a lot of time to think about my WIP while I was laying in bed at night wincing with each little kid cough, waiting to see if my kiddos would settle back to sleep or need me to comfort them.  Apparently that translated into a high word count.  I'm glad the gray cloud that hovered over last week had such a great silver lining. Now to see if any of the stuff I wrote while sleep dazed and drugged up is any good. 

Writing vs. Reading

Yesterday I was laying in the tub getting a rare hour of relaxation while my husband took the kids.  I was also reading (as a mother, multitasking is a must even when relaxing) and I kept thinking how I should be writing my own book instead of reading someone else's.  Don't get me wrong, I know being well and widely read is as much a part of good writing as writing is.  However, lately my reading to writing ratio has been heavily skewed in reading's favor.

I started thinking about how much easier it is to read than write and how I wish it were the reverse.  But that, of course, isn't going to happen because the difference is this; reading is the equivalent of climbing into a car on a roller coaster, dropping the bar to hold you in and that's it, that's all that's expected of you.  The coaster does the rest of the work to take you on (hopefully) a great ride. 

Writing is the equivalent making your own coaster.  You sit down with a great idea, sketch a bit, then realize you have no idea how to do what you want to do.  So you go hunting for tools to educate yourself.  Once you've done that you design and engineer your own coaster, then badger family, friends, recent acquaintances, perfect strangers to test ride it for you and tell you how to perfect it.  Then you spend countless hours working out the glitches, sanding out the rough spots, doing everything you can to make it a smooth, seamless, enjoyable ride.

It's a lot of work and it's hard work.  It takes self-discipline, fortitude and an almost pathological ability to believe in yourself despite all the rejections and criticisms and better roller coasters than yours.  But it also brings it's own sort of satisfaction and enjoyment.  After all if you're the one who makes it you're the first one who gets to experience the ride.  And though it's sometimes a hard slog, there are always those loop de loops and twisty turns that make you laugh and screech in delight and think wow, I created that.

No new is good news, right?

I found out last Friday that Authoress over at Miss Snark's First Victim has already made her way through the adult entrants in her Baker's Dozen Agent Auction and notification to the finalists is going to be going out today rather than next Monday as originally planned.

I hoped this morning I would wake up to a bright shiny finalist notification in my inbox but there was nothing.  So in the best tradition of an internet stalker I popped over to her blog to see if there was anything there stating she'd sent out the notifications.  There wasn't.  Crap. But no news is good news, right?

Now I'm having horrible flashbacks to my first days of querying when my email inbox was open ALL THE TIME.  Getting more than twenty feet away from my computer caused heart palpitations, sweating and slight nausea and getting close enough to actually look at it caused light-headedness, graying out of my vision and extreme nausea.  Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but I just hope my kids are okay with the fact that we're not leaving the house today. 

On a different note, I just read The Raising by Laura Kasischke and loved it.  Other than the conclusion, which was a bit abrupt and ambiguous for my taste, it was a really excellent book. I love the author's use of language and the little details about human reaction that ring so true and are so well and uniquely described.  Also it was far creepier than anything I've read in the horror genre in a long time and it wasn't even horror.  I'm definitely looking forward to reading more by this author. 

Up and Running. Finally!

Well, as you can see it took the full three weeks to get me connected again.  It was a bizarre three weeks.  I never completely stopped feeling like I lost a limb.  It's amazing how dependent I am on the internet.

It's also, however, been a productive three weeks.  I've made quite a bit of progress on my new project.  It's coming fast and messy and I have to soothe my type A by telling myself it's okay not to edit as I write, that that's how a first draft is supposed to be.  A month in and I'm still excited about the project and my ideas are a-flowing.  I gotta say it feels good.  This is the easiest writing I've done in ages.

Also I entered Seeds (remember that manuscript?  If you do, good for you because I barely do) in this contest over at Miss Snark's First Victim which is a great blog.  If you don't follow it you really should at least pop over and check it out.

So that's all that's new with me.  I'm sure I've missed out on tons in the blogosphere.  If you have any exciting, good, quirky, awful or downright weird news please feel free to share in the comments.  Also to my two followers who defected in the last three weeks, I'm sorry you left my blog.  I'll miss you and I mean that in all sincerity. And to the two peoplewho started following in the last three weeks Hello! and thanks for following.

Internet Issues

So I'm writing this post in hopes that my internet connection will hold long enough for me to publish it.  We are having some serious problems with our internet connection and our provider has given us a time frame of three more weeks before it's fixed.  Until I've got a reliable connection I'm not going to be able to post and my ability to comment on other people's blogs is going to be seriously compromised.  Sorry guys, I'll pop in as much as I'm able, but it won't be a lot. So I'll see you all in three weeks (hopefully sooner, but I'm not holding my breath)!

I know two heads are better than one. Does that apply to writing projects?

So there I was driving along in my car on the way home from a family outing, my husband asleep in the passenger seat, my kids snoozing in the back.  The music was low.  I was twirling my hair not thinking about much of anything, letting my thoughts go where they would then KABLAM! An idea for a book.

And there I was with nothing to write on, nothing to record with, hoping I could hold onto the contents of my brainpan through the rest of drive and the long process of bedtime.  I clung on with all my strength, conserved thought energy by responding to my husband and children with noncommital grunts then dashed to my laptop the moment the last goodnight kiss had been given.

I pounded out my ideas and thought 'Okay, well that's that.  Now I know what I'm going to be working on when my WIP is done."  Or so I thought.  That idea rattled and tapped around in my head, tantalized me with its newness, its potential, its mystery until I finally said, 'I give!' So now I'm working on two projects; one revision, one first draft.  It's the first time I've ever done this and I'm a little nervous.  My main concern is that the projects might bleed into one another and they are so very different I don't want one to compromise the other.  For those of you who have or are right now working on dual projects, how do you prevent crossover?  And do you give both projects equal time or do you let your muse dictate which one you work on and when?  Any advice would be much appreciated.

Creative paralysis

I've been attempting to edit my WIP since May.  Yesterday I finally reached Chapter 4.  That's a chapter a month.  That's pretty sad.  Granted, I moved from Colorado to Idaho in that time, but that's not the reason my edit is moving along at the pace of an octogenarian. 

In May, I submitted Seeds to Jennifer Weltz and was all afire to get to the edit of WIP so I could have it ready and waiting when she signed me and asked what else I had.  Optimistic thinking to the point of delusion?  Of course it was, but it never hurts to be prepared.  However, every time I opened my WIP to do what I had to to have it ready to hand over to Ms. Weltz, I was seized by an inexplicable fatigue, which was quickly followed by a sense of ennui and then somehow I ended up on facebook chatting with one of my old college roommates or taking the neverending book quiz on goodreads. I thought this had something to do with the fact that I was supremely unhappy with the place I was living at the time.

After I moved back to Idaho and put the depression inducing time in Greeley behind me I opened my WIP and blazed through edits on the first two chapters in a week.  Yes, I thought, here we go.  I'm finally picking up some momentum on this thing.  Then I got the rejection from Ms. Weltz and suddenly there I was fatigued, bored, distracted, spending more time on MSN games than my WIP.  I couldn't figure out whas was wrong or how to get past it and I hated it.

Then just last week I stumbled on this post by YA author Mette Ivie Harrison and in the same week this one by YA author Elana Johnson.  Both posts talk about how writing for publication is much different than writing for themselves and how they both tend freeze up when writing for publication because they're worrying what their agents, editors, fans and critics will have to say.  Both have a project on the side that's just for them, where they don't worry about what others are going to think of it because no one else is ever going to see it.

I kept thinking about these posts, feeling like there was something important there.  Then it suddenly came to me, even though I wasn't agented or published my paralysis on my WIP stemmed from the same source as Mette and Elana's.  When working on my WIP while Ms. Weltz had Seeds I had been worrying she wouldn't like it because it was very different from Seeds and wouldn't help me 'build my brand'.  After she rejected Seeds I began to worry that no one anywhere, ever would like my writing enough to publish it or, hell, enough to even read it.  Bingo, perfect recipe for creative paralysis. 

So I had a little pep talk with myself, told myself the only thing I might ever get out of my writing was my own enjoyment and that was more than okay.  I stopped worrying about what those faceless, amorphous agents would think and finally, finally I opened my WIP with the same sense of anticipation and enjoyment that has been so woefully absent the past four months.  I edited two more chapters this weekend and thoroughly enjoyed it.  Conclusion, I need to write for myself, because if I don't I can't seem to write at all.

If I Could Be Anyone, I'd Be . . . .

It's Watching Willow Watts launch day!  Hooray for Talli and her book!  In the spirit of Willow, Talli asked anyone who wants to participate in Willow's launch to put on their blog who they'd be if they could be anyone.
I put a lot of thought into this (probably way more than I needed to) and honestly, I hope this doesn't sound incredibly narcissistic (I know it's going to sound a teeny bit narcissistic), I'd be myself.  Not myself of today, but myself of fifteen or so years ago.   Yep, I'd be that girl right there (despite the bad hair and serious overplucked eyebrows and questionable fashion sense).  And here's why.  That girl has a lot of great days ahead of her, lots of adventures, lots of great people to become friends with, lots of lessons to learn, lots of dreams to dream.  And I hope in another fifteen years, I'll wish I could be the me of today for the very same reasons. 

So there you have it, who I'd be if I could be anyone. 

If this little post has peaked your interest in Talli's book, I invite you to pop on over to Amazon and get yourself a copy of it.  If you'd like a little more info before purchasing feel free to check out my review of Willow. 

Watching Willow Watts Review!

I didn't even realize yesterday was Monday and my regularly scheduled posting day until 11:30ish last night.  A little late for posting, I thought, so my post this week (obviously) is going to be on Tuesday instead.

And have I got a post for you.  I got the privilege and pleasure of reading an ARC of Talli Roland's Watching Willow Watts and I really enjoyed it, but I'd like to expound more below, so read on if you're interested in a more in-depth opinion.

For Willow Watts, life has settled into a predictably dull routine: days behind the counter at her father's antique shop and nights watching TV, as the pension-aged residents of Britain's Ugliest Village bed down for yet another early night. But everything changes when a YouTube video of Willow's epically embarrassing Marilyn Monroe impersonation gets millions of hits after a viewer spots Marilyn's ghostly image in a frame.

Instantly, Willow's town is overrun with fans flocking to see the 'new Marilyn'. Egged on by the villagers -- whose shops and businesses are cashing in -- Willow embraces her new identity, dying her hair platinum and ramming herself full of cakes to achieve Marilyn's legendary curves.

But when a former flame returns seeking the old Willow, Willow must decide: can she risk her stardom and her village's newfound fortune on love, or is being Marilyn her ticket to happiness?

With a premise like that I don’t know how you could not want to read this book.  And it lives up to the promise of its premise.  Told from the differing viewpoints of its great cast of characters you’re introduced to lovable and endearing Willow who’s given up her dreams to take care of her father and his foundering antique shop.  You also get to meet Jay Bellamy, a villanous agent you’ll love to hate.  There’s Cissy Havering an aged, bitter, ex (sort of) starlet and Willow’s unlikely savior and, finally my favorite, Betts Johnson, middle-aged, ample waisted, Southern divorcee who is at the mercy of her ungrateful grown children and finds solace in her Marilyn memorabilia.  All these folks are brought together by the ‘new’ Marilyn aka Willow in Belcherton, Britain’s ugliest village.

With laugh out loud moments and a thread of a romance running through it, Watching Willow Watts is a very enjoyable read.  And though it starts out as a light hearted romp the book poignantly delivers the message that not only should you be true to who you are, you also shouldn’t let anyone else dictate your individuality, no matter the cost.

Willow releases on Kindle on September 14th and you can buy it here. 

Next week instead of posting on the 12th, I'm going to be posting on Wednesday ther 14th as part of Talli's If I Could Be Anyone I'd Be . . . . party celebrating Willow's launch.  It's going to be tons of fun, so if you're not already planning on participating hit up Talli's blog to find out how you can be a part of it too.

My return to the working world.

Not that I'm not working now.  Taking care of two kiddos is easily the most exhausting and demanding job I've ever had. I'm just making the transition to a job I actually get paid for. 

I can't say I'm thrilled about this.  I have so little time now to write and I know this is just going to shave off more.  And I'm going to miss those two little people who fill up almost every moment of my waking life. However, the husband and I took a look at our debt situation and the economic situation and it just doesn't make financial sense right now for me to stay home. 

Oh well, at least I got four good years to be nothing but a mommy and an aspiring writer.  I guess I'll just have to dust off my legal secretary cap, stick it on top of the other two and hope like heck it all works out.

And the agent said . . .

No. Poop.

After a year and a few months of revising and more revising and one phone call and some emails and A LOT of hoping I got the verdict from Jennifer Weltz of the Jean V. Naggar Literary Agency and it's a no.  Ms. Weltz was very helpful and very professional and I learned so much from my interaction with her and except for the end result wouldn't have changed a thing about the experience.

I'm struggling through a crisis of doubt right now, but I think I'm coming out the other side because I've already compiled a list of new agents to query and I spent last night dusting off my query and synopsis.

So back on the query-go-round for me.  I can't say I'm delighted to be there, but it is what it is, so I might as well make the best of it.

On a lighter note, I'm reading Divergent by Veronica Roth and am LOVING it.  If you like dystopian YA fiction with a lot of action and an edge this is the book for you.  It's one of those books that I want to burn through to find out what happens as soon as possible, but I don't want to read it too fast because then it will be done.  Happily, though, this is only book one of a trilogy, so I don't have to restrain myself too much.

How about you guys?  Did any big news come your way since last Monday?  Have you or are you reading any books you'd like to reccomend because heaven knows I'm always on the lookout for a good book.

Crap, I'm supposed to do a post today.

Wow, that week went fast!  This weekend was my seventh wedding anniversary and my husband and I spent it at a really great B&B by the Teton Mountains.  I guess I must still be buzzing from the fabulous time I had because the fact that it was Monday and I needed to do a post whacked me upside the head just a few seconds ago. 

Needless to say this will be a short one.  Mostly I just wanted to tell Talli thanks again for giving me that great interview and for hanging out at my blog last Monday.  I also wanted to say thanks to all of you who stopped by and read the interview.  It was so great getting all of your comments.  Lastly, I want to welcome all of you new followers.  It's great to have you here!

Next week my post will be more focused and I'll put a bit more preparation than thirty seconds worth into it.  Hope you all have a great week!