"Pretend things aren't as important as things that are real."

The other day I was trying to get little blonde person and her towhead brother out the door.  Little blonde person kept insisting I wait until she finished having tea with her friend Rabuco (no idea who or what Rabuco is or where little blonde person came up with the name).  We were already late and the mercury was about to blow out the top of my frustration meter.  I said to little blonde person, "Little blonde person, we have to go right now.  We're already late." "But Mommy," she insisted. "I have to finish having tea with Rabuco.  We're playing pretend."  I snapped back, "Pretend things aren't as important as things that are real. Now let's go."

Instantly I felt like an enormous hypocrite.  Because, folks, there are days when what's going on in the world I'm creating in that oft-visited Word document on my laptop is just as, if not more important to me than the diaper changing and meal preparing and house cleaning and goodnight kisses.  In fact, there are days when I can't wait to escape my mommy duties and plunge into that world.

I thought about that as I tugged a crying little blonde person through the house and out to the car.  After stowing her little brother in his seat, I knelt and took her by the shoulders.  I apologized for being sharp with her and told her I was sorry we didn't have time for her to finish having tea with Rabuco.  I told her Rabuco was welcome to come with us.  Her tears switched off and were replaced by a grin as she shouted for Rabuco to hurry and get in the car because we were late.

I'm just wondering if any of you sometimes neglect a sinkful of dishes or let your child nap way longer than is good for you or send your husband and children off without you just so you can finish having tea with Rabuco, so to speak.

Catch up

So this posting every Monday, I'm struggling with it.  If you couldn't tell.  The last month has been nuts. 

I got the feedback from my critique group.  It was fantastic.  I love my group.  They're truly, as critique groups go, hell, as human beings go, stellar. 

Based on their suggestions, I revised for almost three weeks, then submitted Seeds to the agent.  I haven't heard anything from her yet, but, considering her busyness level, I expected that and truth be told I don't mind a bit. I sort of feel like someone on death row who's been granted a stay of execution.  I'm just so terrified she won't like it.

A week after I sent the manuscript I traveled to Idaho to visit my family and stayed there for two weeks.  I had a houseguest the following week and the week after that I spent trying to adjust to 'normal' life again.

I've been popping into all of your blogs, but haven't left any comments. I hope to get back to commenting on a regular basis now that things have slowed down a bit.  I also hope to get back to weekly postings.  I hope everyone's writing is going well and that you all have something (or several somethings) fantastically fun planned for your summer.

Today is the day.

The meeting for the critique of Seeds is tonight.  As the day goes on the butteflies in my stomach spawn and increase their flaps per second just a little more.  At this rate, I'll probably be able to fly to the meeting.  Of course that would save me some gas money.  Hmm maybe that's the answer to the energy crisis right there, figure out some way for the population to maintain a state of delirious agitation.

Alright, I'm rambling.  Truly I can't pull my thoughts together enough to say anything else. 

Hope everyone's week is off to a less nerve racking start than mine.

Freedom?

I'm going to try to do a post every Monday.  My success at this, of course, depends on my childrens' willingness to not need me long enough for me to do the post.  Here's hoping.

I decided to do this post on Jonathan Franzen's Freedom. I'm not usually a fan of Oprah's picks, but the subject matter of this one was interesting to me, so I checked it out (literally, from my local library). 

Here's what I thought: bleak, bleak, bleak.  The writing was good and his ability to capture certain emotional states of being is phenomenal, but those emotional states of being ranged from sad to suicidal.  I'm not a person that needs everything sunshine and roses, but from the state of the world to the state of its characters this book left me feeling hopeless. The characters were so selfish and self-pitying I found it hard to like any of them. I could only take the book in small doses.  If I read more than ten or so pages at a time I found myself getting sucked into the oozing pool of self-pity and despair and hopelessness.  Seriously I felt like I needed to fortify myself with an antidepressant or two before opening the book.

The book ends with a few small rays of hope but after the rest of it I felt like they were either not enough or too much.  Not enough because in no way did they compensate for what he put his characters (and the reader) through in the previous hundreds of pages.  Too much because after all the hopelessness it almost felt to me like his editor said, 'too much sad. You need to brighten it up a bit', so he did and it wasn't believable. He should have just stuck with the bleak.

He must have done something right though because the book has been hanging out in my brain matter since I finished it on Thursday.  Not really in a good way though.  I find myself wishing I could open up my head and scrub out the scum of sadness the book left in there. So yeah, that's my opinion on Oprah's pick.  I probably won't read another one, since the last one I read had much the same effect.

I'm sure many of you read it long before me, but if you can remember I'd be interested in hearing what you thought of it.

The critiquers have it.

I finished tweaking my manuscript at 1:09 a.m. yesterday morning and immediately sent it to my critique group for fear if I didn't I'd tinker it to death and never send it at all.

I'm a little nervous to hear what they have to say, because while these folks are nice, they're also honest.  Which is great!  But also a little intimidating.

However, I'm excited about having my novel that much closer to being ready to resend to the agent.

However, the closer I get to that point, the more scared I get that she's going to hate it.

Oh goodness, why can't this be easier?

Happy Monday, everyone!

I'm back, baby!

I've logged on to blogger about a thousand times in the last month or so desperately wanting to post.  However, I made myself wait because I was in the midst of the revisions the agent suggested and thought my time and energy would be best directed there. 

As of 10:33 p.m. last night I completed those revisions.  Now I get the joy of turning them over to a really great critique group I found in my new hometown (P.S. I moved to Colorado last October).  I'm sure those good folks will have lots of suggestions for me, but the major overhaul is done and I can't tell you how good that feels. 

I'm hoping to have it all shiny and pretty and ready to submit on June 2nd of this year which is the one year anniversary of the initial phone call from the agent.  I'll submit it sooner, of course if my critique group has no major issues (That, however, is probably positive thinking to the point of self delusion).

So that's it.  That's my big news.

Now onto your big news! Though I haven't posted or commented I have been out there lurking in the blogosphere over the last few months and I want to give a belated Whoo Hoo! to Talli Roland for the publication of her book The Hating Game, to Jessica Bell for the upcoming release of her book String Bridge (check out the book trailer. How cool is that?), to Carolina Valdez Miller for signing with Vickie Motter of Andrea Hurst Literary Management and to Jen Daiker for getting her manuscript ready to query. 

I know there are lots of other exciting and wonderful things I missed out on only being able to nibble around the edges of your blogs for the last six months, so please post your exciting news, writerly or otherwise, in the comments so I can pass along my congratulations.

Though my posts and comments won't happen on any kind of regular basis for awhile (still adjusting to being the mother of two) it's good to be back and I'm looking forward to spending more time with all my blogger friends.

Got a minute.

I finished my nap and miraculously both little ones are still taking theirs, so I have a minute (and I mean a minute. Little blond person will be opening her gorgeous blue eyes any time now).  I just wanted to pop into my blog and say how much I miss my blogger friends.  I miss reading your funny, insightful, thought provoking posts.  I miss reading about writing.  I miss writing about writing and most of all I miss writing. 

And here's little blond person right on schedule, so I have to go, but to all my blogger friends please write a page or two for me.  Hopefully I'll be joining your ranks on a regular basis again soon!