Saturday, February 20, 2010

Pollyanna is on hiatus.

I'm feeling - uninspired today, by my life, by my writing, by, well, pretty much everything.  What, you may be asking, happened to the Pollyanna of a couple days ago.  Well, she got rejected - a couple times.  One was on a three by five preprinted card which was somehow more disheartening than a letter on professional letterhead even though it said essentially the same thing as the rejections I've received on letterhead.  The other rejection was from an agent who, based on her bio and current clients, I  really thought would have an interest in my book.  Apparently I was wrong.

The question I find myself asking today is this.  How long do I pursue this and how much do I put into it i.e. time, money, emotion, before I admit that I'm like one of those auditioners on American Idol? You know the ones. They fervently believe, most likely because they've been told by friends and relatives, that they can sing.  They aren't in some kooky costume or there with some gimmick to ensure their fifteen seconds of fame.  They really, genuinely believe they can be the next American Idol.  Even in the face of the judges's laughter and ridicule they still adamantly insist that they CAN sing. 

I'm not to this point yet, but I think given enough rejections, eventually I'll have to face the fact that the literary agents of the world have united to become one large, sarcastic, buzzed cut, tight T-shirt wearing critic sneering at me that I shouldn't quit my day job. 

I think, though, even if I get to that point, while I may give up on getting published, I'll probably always write.  I really do love it.  It fills a need in me and I don't think I can give it up just because someone (or many someones) tell me I no good at it.

I imagine that those Idol rejects still sing along to their car radios and tell themselves they sound better or at least just as good as Kelly or Carrie or Adam or Chris (Daughtry or Allen, you pick).  It probably makes them really happy and so I say to them, sing on, my fellow rejects.  Sing on!

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