Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Sigh in the night.

Yesterday I had a fantastic idea for a blog post.  I even had most of it composed in my head, but the opportunity never arose to get it down and schedule it on Blogger to post today. 

Just before I went to sleep last night I had a moment of panic that the post would slip out of my brain, never to be heard from again. 'That's silly,' I thought.  'I have a mind like a steel trap. A steel trap, I tell you!'  Well sometime in the wee hours between blowing my nose and soothing little blond person back to sleep after a hacking fit and poking my husband so he would stop his head cold induced snoring the idea pulled a coyote ugly.  When I woke all that was left were a few tattered remains in the teeth of the trap.

My previous idea was about writing (at least I'm pretty sure it was).  Now I've decided to go in a little different direction, a little more personal.  Bear with me.

The last few months I've had an ongoing, well, I don't think it would be exaggerating to call it a personal crisis.  It's a struggle sometimes to get from one end of the day to another without closeting myself somewhere out of little blond person's sight and bawling. 

The other night I was laying on the couch (so as to escape husband's snoring) and my brain was pickling itself in a stew of the same old thoughts regarding this crisis.  I realized that what had begun as a new frontier in my neural pathways was quickly becoming a deep and perhaps inescapable rut.  So forcing my thoughts out of the mire, I began thinking of the things in my life that help instead of hurt: my husband, my daughter, my health, the expectation of our new baby, my parents, my writing, the fact that we have a roof over our heads, enough to pay our bills and a little left over to sock away in savings.   Then I had this thought, with six billion people in the world someone, somewhere in that exact instant lost one or more of those things that moments before, in the midst of my angst, I forgot I had.

In this moment, someone, somewhere found out their spouse died or was divorcing them.

In this moment, someone, somewhere lost a beloved child or found out they could never have one.

In this moment, someone, somewhere was laid off or fired from a job.

In this moment, someone, somewhere found out that the bank was foreclosing on their home.

In this moment, someone, somewhere found out that their lifelong dream would never be realized.

In this moment, someone, somewhere found out that one or both of their parents died.

In this moment, someone, somewhere found out that they suffer from a debilitating disease or condition that will affect them in inescapable and perhaps painful ways everyday for the rest of their lives.

In this moment someone, somewhere found out they have a terminal illness and all the minutes they took for granted, perhaps even wished away, have now been reduced to a mere handful, slipping through their fingers as quickly and inescapably as grains of sand.

In this moment, someone, somewhere died. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that even with the day to day struggles, there is so much to be grateful for and it's all so ephemeral.  Those things we forget to treasure because they're always there can slip from us like a sigh in the night.  And they do from someone, somewhere every moment of every day.  I hope that when, as it inevitably will, that happens to me I'll be able to say that I truly treasured and appreciated every moment that I had that particular blessing in my life, despite what ever else was happening at the time.

And now I'll climb off my soapbox.

19 comments:

Talli Roland said...

Angie, thank you so much for this reminder. It's so true - it's hard sometimes to embrace the life we do have and be thankful for it.

(BTW, I can so relate to lying on the sofa to escape the husband's snoring!)

Crystal Cook said...

Angie, this is a beautiful, inspiring post. Thanks so much for the reminder. And I hope your family gets well soon :)

Lola Sharp said...

What a lovely, heartfelt post.
I hope all the sick bugs go away, so yiu can get some much needed sleep.

Love,
Lola

KarenG said...

I'm glad you forgot your original post because this one was awesome. We all need reminders to be grateful for our blessings, with a dose of compassion thrown in for those who are suffering. Thank you for sharing.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

What a beautiful and heartfelt reminder, Angie! And so, so true. Thanks for this post. :-)

JustineDell said...

Whoa...I'll remember this post the next time I'm grumbling about something regarding my writing journey.

Thank you~

Shannon said...

Hi Angie,

Thanks for stopping by my blog earlier. :)

Thank you so much for making this post. It easy, at times, to get caught up in the murk of our day-to-day existence or to wallow in the the "if only's."

Great reminder.

Lisa of In Pencil said...

Hey Angie,thank for stopping by and leaving such kind words. Good luck with your June deadline!

Joanne said...

Thanks so much for the reminder to just stop from time to time, and be in the moment of all we might have. It's easy to fret time away with worries and angst, but not at the cost of the good in our lives.

Elana Johnson said...

There is always room to be more grateful for what we have. What an inspiring post.

And, for the record, I have a mind like a steel trap too! Ha ha!

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

It's so important to rise above our daily problems every once in a while, and feel grateful for all we have been blessed with in our lives. Thanks for the reminder!

I left a blog award for you chez moi!

Al said...

I have a mind like a steel trap - a rusty one!

Great post, I get these sorts of reminders everyday at work. That doesn't mean that our own problems aren't real, but a bit of perspective certainly helps!

Jen said...

Angie I wonder if you and I had done this on the same day! Every once in awhile I sit there and think about all of those who struggle more than I do and I realize that even though the hubs and I don't see eachother throughout the week things could be worse!

Awesome reminder!

Jaydee Morgan said...

Great post - and I'm glad you said it :)

Jennifer Shirk said...

Angie, what a wonderful reminder!

I was kind of thinking the same thing as I'm watching American Idol Gives back. I'm looking at some of these people who really need basic things in life and suddenly my problems seem so small.

Amy Jo Lavin said...

Thanks for the positive thoughts! BTW, so many of my best ideas come while I'm trying to fall asleep, so I've learned to keep a notebook by my bed so I can write it down. I never remember it the next day. :)

Palindrome said...

I'm grateful for every moment I'm alive! When I hear music, I'm thankful I can hear. When I'm trying to decide what to eat, I'm thankful I have a job and money to buy food. When I read, I'm thankful that I had the schooling to know how and the eyes to see.

These are great things to keep in mind!! Wonderful post.

Cynthia Reese said...

Well said. I shall remember to be grateful -- until I don't anymore, and then you'll need to climb back on your soapbox.

Thanks!

notesfromnadir said...

Hi Angie,

What an awesome and inspiring post. It's so true that we have a lot in our lives to appreciate and others have far less.

You really have a beautiful writing style, too!