Monday, May 17, 2010

Unexpected gifts

Last Friday, I climbed out of bed, pulled the sheet up, straightened and smoothed the bedspread, looked at the pile of pillows on the floor that needed to be put just so against the headboard and felt - daunted. Seriously, my fortitude felt challenged by a pile of microfiber, cotton and 300 thread count pillowcases? It was going to be a bad day.


Turning my back on the heap of pillows, I went downstairs and tuned into PBS Kids for little blond person. Then, I got on blogger to do my Friday post and well, let's put it this way; if the throw pillows were daunting, the blog was insurmountable.  I hurried away from my blog to one of my go to time waster sites and found myself wondering what the crap I was doing all this for. Did I really want to write? Was it really worth all the time, effort and energy I invest into it every week? What else could I be doing with all that time that would perhaps be more beneficial to myself and to my family?

That feeling dogged me for the rest of the day. That night I opened my WIP, scanned the first three sentences and shut down the computer. I'd been daunted by the throw pillows, defeated by the blog. My WIP sent me dashing to the haven of my pillowless bed with my tail tucked between my legs. I couldn't do this anymore. Writing was a waste of time. I didn't love it enough to continue, to put in what I had been.  And really what was the point?  It wasn't like it was paying off in any way.

Saturday, I woke up to one of the few gorgeous days spring has favored our corner of Idaho with this year. After hurrying through my house cleaning, I put a sundress and sandals on little blond person to remind her what a glorious feeling it is to bare your shoulders and toes to the sun. Then my husband and I took her to a little amusement park. I watched her dash from one ride to the next, sturdy little legs pistoning, sunlight sparkling on her hair as it swished about her pinkening shoulders.  She continually called to us to 'c'mon, c'mon', so full of enthusiasm she literally couldn't stand still for a second. After she finished all the kiddy rides, we all climbed on the ferris wheel and squealed in unison with little blond person each time our seat began its tummy tingling descent. I didn't think about writing once.

Yet, Saturday night after she was bathed and soothed and drifting of to dreamland, I found myself as eager to open my WIP as little blond person was to ride the pink horse on the carousel; an unexpected gift at the end of a wonderful day.

My dearest wish for all of you out there is that next time you're overwhelmed by a funk you find yourself in possession of the unexpected gem of a day that Saturday was for me.

15 comments:

Laura Marcella said...

Beautiful post! It's those moments of living, loving, and laughing that give us the ideas and words to create what needs to be written. Thanks for the reminder!

~Nicole Ducleroir~ said...

I loved this gentle reminder that life is a continuous ride of ups and downs. Glad your Saturday was bright, and more enjoyed coming on the heels of an overwhelmed Friday.

Hope your week is wonderful!

Shannon said...

I think at one point or another we all go through this self doubt. I'm glad it didn't last longer than a few hours.

If you ever doubt yourself, revisit this simple sentence:

"I watched her dash from one ride to the next, sturdy little legs pistoning, sunlight sparkling on her hair as it swished about her pinkening shoulders."

Excellent imagery. You conveyed so much and painted a beautiful picture.

Glad you're back in the saddle.

Jen Sadler said...

Beauty, Ang! So glad you were able to have that day. We all need them so much! Sending my love to all (almost) four of you!

Old Kitty said...

Awwwww! Little blonde person sounds like the angel muse you just need to inspire you with your writing!

What a lovely blessing!

take care
x

Amy Jo Lavin said...

Thanks for sharing! Sometimes we need a break in order to appreciate our writing again. At least I've noticed I do. :)

B. Miller said...

What a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing! I'm so glad you were gifted with the replenishment of your enthusiasm! :D

Jen said...

I'm so glad that you had a wonderful writing day after all! Sometimes it's easiest to just put those things away and allow it time to sit and let the words come back to you!

Jaydee Morgan said...

I'm glad you found your way back :) I've experienced this too - when it seems so hard that it's a struggle to continue. Somehow, though, it always pulls us back.

Talli Roland said...

Angie, what a beautiful post. Writing is so fickle, isn't it? One day we love it, the next day we hate it... but I think it's those ups and downs that make us really appreciate our finished work in the end!

Jayne said...

Hello Angie! Lovely post, I really sensed the joy of little blond person at the fair, and how lovely it inspired you later with your work in progress!

Rebecca @ Diary of a Virgin Novelist said...

Blargh! I'm looking for my gem right now! ;)

Alexandra Crocodile said...

I can relate - sometimes I also wonder about blogging, and if all the time I spend on it is of any value at all. Why am I blogging? I don't really know:)

I'm glad you got your mojo back though! Have a great day!

Cynthia Reese said...

We all have days like this. Dadgum throw pillows. They started it all. :-) Glad you're back in the swing of things!

Palindrome said...

When I'm faced with that feeling, I do the same, someething completely different and away from writing. And then soon enough I find myself thinking about my WIP and I'm back at it again.

Beautiful words for a necessary process.